The great news about being on a longish break from infertility treatments is that I don't obsessively think about infertility while waiting to fall asleep, when I wake up at night, and in the morning when I am trying to pretend I don't have to get up to pee. Not having that feedback stress loop going has been relaxing to me. You almost cannot fathom how stressful those thoughts are until they relent for a few weeks. I don't know what day of my cycle it is! I am not waiting to see how my follicles are responding! I am not injecting myself! I am not inserting anything into myself or having a camera jammed up in there either! If I feel rage or sorrow, it is not the hormone shots! When snow is forecast, it doesn't affect my office appointments! In this case, absence does not make the heart grow fonder. It makes me long for the days when I will be done with all of these things forever.
I am so glad we just bagged this cycle. With Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, new insurance (still fighting to get enrolled), my husband's job stress this time of year, and regular life stuff, we made the best decision to take some time off and regroup for IVF in 2014. I LOVE being off the hamster wheel!